Breaking down social norms

For years we have heard the saying “boys will be boys, girls will be girls”. This phrase implies that the behaviors of boys and girls are hardwired into each of them. Although there are obvious anatomical and biological differences between the sexes, Lise Eliot argues that the common stereotypes we associate with men and woman may be more socially influenced than ever previously realized. In her book, Pink Brain, Blue Brain: How Small Differences Grow into Troublesome Gaps, Eliot references studies which show that most male and female behavior is not genetically influenced, but rather environmentally developed. From early development, throughout puberty and even into adulthood, males and females are given subtle (even sometimes unconscious) signs on how to act. They develop their preferences, skill set and even their thinking style based on what is reinforced at an early age. 

            In the article I read by Frida Berrigan, titled “Who Needs Gender Norms? Not Children”, Frida shows the positive steps she is taking to prevent giving gender norms to her child. Throughout the article, there are other cited examples of couples that went to extremes to make sure their child would not be taught gender stereotypes. Berrigan cited one couple from Switzerland who refused to reveal the sex of their child to anyone outside of their immediate family in an attempt to protect her from sexual biases.  In fact, countries like Sweden are so set on gender equality, that they stopped use of pronouns like “him” or “her” in classrooms, and instead refer to everyone by name or as “friends”.  Even with these policy changes, directors noticed differences in the way teachers reacted to students. For example, directors noted that teachers consoled girls for a longer period of time, when they hurt themselves, than they consoled boys. With boys, caretakers were more likely to show a “tougher” form of love than to girls who they soothed and consoled to a greater extent. The article goes on to show that after creating an environment that is not norm inducing, the author’s son, Seamus, does not follow the confines of sex specific activities; he likes to both play with toy cars and pretend to cook (activities often considered to be delegated to opposing genders). 

            This article by Frida Berrigan, supports the idea proposed in Lise Elliot’s book. “Who Needs Gender Norms?” shows real life examples, as well as the author’s personal journey in raising a non-stereotypical child and the effects it has. By not exposing her child to the biases of society, we have created experimental trials, to really see the proportion of gender stereotypes, which are genetic rather than due to social influences. From what has been observed thus far, by both Berrigan and Eliot; preferences in play type, attitude and even emotional availability are nearly identical between males and females at birth before social confines are placed on them. Society is starting to recognize and correct for the affect that gender norms have on people, and hopefully some time in the near future, we will be able to live in a world where one’s future isn’t predestined because of his or her sex.

References:

Berrigan, Frida. "Who Needs Gender Norms? Not Children -- That's For Sure." The Huffington Post. TheHuffingtonPost.com, 23 Aug. 2013. Web. 26 Feb. 2014

Eliot, Lise. (2009). Pink Brain, Blue Brain: How Small Differences Grow into Troublesome Gaps - and What We Can Do About It. New York, NY: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company.